If I had the guts

I would have committed suicide. That was what I just told my friend. Haha.


edit: This is not an emo post. Do not get me wrong and please do not simply relate this to other stuffs....




Yeah, this is no joke.

So thank god I DO NOT HAVE the guts to do so, if not today you will not be seeing me blogging here, emo-ing now and then, gossiping with friends, complaining about assignments and exams....and any other things that you can imagine me doing. LOL

How many of you have thought about committing suicide? I mean, really desperate to do so just to leave this damn world?

Once, I was really desperate to disappear from this place... once. (Once? Don't think so. High school time already wanna kisiao with all pressure and problems) But really, I could not imagine myself committing suicide and the next day my big name appears in the papers saying "A 21 year-old girl from UTAR committed suicide at Plaza Prima Setapak". LOL

Then from then on, my house would be called the 'haunted' house. The owner will be so mad at me causing him not able to rent his unit out. People living nearby my unit will be sooo scared when it's the 7th month. Gosh I cannot imagine these happening since I really hate those students who committed suicide at their rented units, causing the area to be haunted.

So, I better not do so.

Furthermore, I am very berat hati to leave my beloved ones behind.

Actually, I have always said that those people who committed suicide are people who are selfish and irresponsible. They might have set themselves free, but at the same time, their suicide might leave their beloved ones heartbroken or even need to help them to clear the mess they created before dying. True isn't it?

But for some reasons, I started to understand why people like this can do such thing. On the verge of breaking down, eventhough you have thought of the consequences, anything is possible because people tend to be irrational when their lives are shattered to pieces. If they keep things to themselves and are lack of love and support from family and friends, then in just a nanosecond, they will be gone forever.

So the moral is, if you really have problems, it is advisable to share with your friends and family. Pouring out your problems will make you feel better, trust me. Although maybe in the end no solution can be made, at least you do not feel so burdened anymore. And people, when friends have problems to share with you, do not hesitate to lend an ear to them. Because you never know, you might have helped to save a precious life =)

Bah.. what a crappy post. Talk about suicide like I am so pro, when actually I am a coward and has no experience at all and do not even want to try.

Whatever it is people, please do not commit suicide. Eventhough now what you can see is just darkness awaiting you, like my friend said, you will eventually find a light in the darkness. LOL I wonder when can I see mine?? Anyway the most important thing is to have faith in yourself.

I am not committing suicide and I will not I swear. I have much better things to do. I would rather grief in sorrow than die. So if 1 day there are news saying that I commit suicide *choy choy choy!!*, something MUST be wrong. Very wrong. Maybe like in Prison Break Season 2, Benjamin Franklin (the black loving husband and dad) has to hang himself in order not to let the damn FBI harm his family. Haha

So, I am fine. I will survive!!


p/s: My god, I do not know what time I will be able to fall asleep, because I slept for hours after the exam. Ish..


-sherril=xuele-