I don't know

Sometimes, you just do not how to react to people's remarks.


*
I wish I can talk to you in a very friendly way, like how friends should talk.

But I guess this is almost impossible for us.

Why? Why everytime we must sound like we are arguing over some unimportant stuffs?

Why must you just talk to me in that particular way?

Frankly, I feel very annoyed.

I wonder, when will this shit end?
*


I am not sure about you guys, but I really hate it when I tell people this:

"I think I did badly." *moody*
"I think I will fail it. How?" *eyes with tears*


Then they give me this reply:

"Aiya you say only la. Listen 1st. Your results sure better than mine."


Sigh. Totally speechless.


I do not simply tell people that if I do not feel so. Maybe you all might think I exaggerated, but seriously most of the times I was quite positive that I screwed up the papers. I totally have no confidence in myself because I know I am not Shyuan.

When results came out and turned out to be better than I thought, you all said I was pretending.

=_=''


People, how am I going to know it would turn out like this?

I guess next time the best thing I should do is to remain silent after exam. Happy or not, I just keep it to myself.

I know myself too well. I cannot maintain my grades because I am not a pro. I am just a normal student who always procrastinate yet try her best in her exams. Who will not I wonder? No one likes to fail, isn't it?

Sometimes, you really just do not know how to react to such comments.



-sherril=xuele-

The world is very big

This phrase is true after all :)

There are still so many things that I have yet to experience,


like sky diving and water rafting.



So many people that I just started to know or whom I may know in the future, food that I yearn to try and places that I wish to travel to and the list goes on....

I want to go surfing at Waikiki Beach in Hawaii,


and scuba diving at Sabah.


I know I said I am going to hate my 21st year old birthday and this has been a dreadful year for me. But to think on the positive side, I should take those problems of mine as challenges for me to learn my lessons and grow up to think and act like a 21-year old girl. No more childish stuffs and actions.

Somebody said he wanted to read emo blog. Haha I think sooner or later he will need to cross my blog out from the emo category. This blog was never meant to be a emo blog, because it did not started out this way. But since the emo period is going to end soon, the level of emo-ness of this blog will be decreased.

Dom Dom, if you happen to read my blog no worries. Xue Le will always be Xue Le who is always full of snow happiness. You all gave me this nickname is because I used to be a happy girl isn't it?

I am glad I met many wonderful people around me, some are those whom I was not aware of at the very beginning. They have indeed brightened up my days. To those that I have made you guys disappointed, I am sorry about that. There just had to be times like that until you finally find a way back. So, please forgive me =)

Lastly, I would like wish my best buddy whom I have known for 12 years - Ying Chian a very Happy 21st Birthday!! Another friend turning 21. Haha I am considered young!!!



Sorry, I have not uploaded my latest picture with you. But oh well, this picture reminds me about my long hair days...

Darling, I really hope you have a great birthday this year. You are always a great friend to me and I am very glad that until today, we still remain as best friends. *Mwah* love you lots!!



-sherril=xuele-

The urge did not persist

That is why I am back here, with a new layout. LOL

Well, maybe if I really stop blogging it does not make any difference to you all since I am not those top bloggers and I personally feel that my blog is very dull. But, like what KLCK said was true.

Reading back my posts, I am glad that I blogged. Not only sweet memories were jotted down in words and pictures, some posts reminded me who I used to be and what I should not do in the future to prevent history from happening.

Anyway, this new layout is still under construction as there are still some codings that need to be edited. The tabs are not functioning as they should. Wonder what was wrong with my coding. Sigh. I have returned the things that I have learnt in Web Page Design during Foundation.

Currently, I am busy with assignments and tomorrow will be having my last midterm test - Engineer in Society. So, I guess I will get back to my editing after I am done with those. Supposingly, I should be joining Famine 30 this weekend. But due to the incomplete workload, Shyuan and I did not go. I hope that my friends who are the organizers are not mad with our sudden withdrawal. Sorry!



This is what I did. Studying while chatting in MSN. That is why I screwed up my Saturday's midterm. *crying hard* I am so 'dai sei'.

This is the circuit board before soldering started....

That's me, soldering the components.

I am starting to hate my hair colour. Should I dye again? Suggestions please!!!

Oh yeah by the way, it is getting longer day by day. Can't wait for it to be long long again!!!

Tadaa!!!! The completed circuit board (PIC is missing)

Haha, I was commented as being clumsy while soldering. Not only a few helai of my hair was burnt (because I looked too near), even my lappie was hurt. Sweat. Now there are scars on my new laptop.

Ok, so done with my update. Lastly I would like to wish Ruth, Shyuan and Li Pei

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!!!!


-sherril=xuele-

Stopping right here?

Suddenly, I had the sudden urge to stop blogging. I mean like really stop and never continue again.

I began blogging more than 2 years ago. Started off when friends around me started to blog and I thought I would try and see since I love writing.

Throughout these 2 years, indeed many things happened. There are happy, sad, disappointed, angry memories.... until 1 point I decided to stop living. All these memories were being jotted down in this and my previous blog.

From a 19-year old teenager, I am going to turn 21 in about 2 months time. I am no longer a kid. 21... an age that many teenagers hope to reach and never get any older. They say this is when a person is given the key of freedom because they are officially adults.

How I wish I will never turn 21. This is such a dreadful year for me. How I wish I can forever stay at the age of 18. Many things happened in just a year.

I entered and came out from NS. Made new friends from all over the country and stayed in a rural area without internet for 3 months. Then I actually entered a university and chosen a course which all of these were never in my list of choices. Fated huh? If not for that, I would not have met him would not have endured so many things. Life changed significantly after I entered uni. Living away from home was never easy and I remembered how I used to miss home constantly till the point I would cry silently. So childish of me.

Like I said, everything happened for a reason. And I hope this will stay true till the day I die.

So back to the point. Why had the sudden urge? Jason asked, "Oh, just sudden urge?"

Haha yeah maybe. Feel like wanna isolate a bit, live in my own world for the time being. The world beyond my own is too cruel sometimes.

So, will the urge persist? I am unsure. Maybe yes maybe no. It is up to me to decide after all. But for the time being, I will not blog too often.

There is this song that I have been listening over and over again for the past few days. I wonder am I like what it was described in the song? If it is so, I would be better off. But quite doubt the last sentence.

Take care people!!!! And please pray for me that I will not screw up my Control Systems midterm.


突然累了

是时候休息了。



p/s: 祝你面试成功！



-sherril=xuele-

每件事情的发生一定有它的原因

这两天发生了一些事情。 仔细的想，我知道其实并不是一件大事也并没有我自认那么严重。但是我就是有那种内疚感，觉得很自责，甚至有点失望。

大家放心，这并不是关系到我的感情事。

唉，或许我把些事情看得太重了吧？都怪我自己死性不改，往往不经意的把事情看得太重。

他说我看错了。是吗？

也许吧！

想不到最后让我最头痛的不是那些我看不过眼的，而是我最看好的。

世事难料吧？以后不敢到处张扬我的看法了。。。还亏我宣传了给大家听。

真可笑。

Anyway，现在有个了断也好。免得拖拖拉拉的。。希望这件事没带给大家很大的困扰。

我没事，只是想太多。都说了，我是个多愁善感的人哈哈。

好开心明天可以离开这里几天，与我的母亲大人聚一聚。

好庆幸当晚失控的我并没有把她从梦境吵醒。不然一定让她担心死了。

每件事情的发生一定有它的原因，不是吗？

我相信，绝对有原因。


~雪乐~

How do you want your life to be?

Phew!! I can sigh in relief for the time being. Why?

Because we have just completed another assignment and handed it up! 2 more assignments and 1 report in pending status.....

This explains why it is taking me longer and longer to update my dead blog. Gah, my time is devoted to all assignments, tests and some mini outings. Most of us stayed up late last night (some even did not sleep and straight away went to classes from 9am - 7pm) just to complete our AI assignment. Of course, my group is no exception to this last minute action. Sigh.

Analyzing those codings really made me frustrated, a bit. Haha. Hey, I really do have interest in programming if not I would not be joining the Programming Team in Robotics Society. LOL. But reading those codings not written by myself is really headache, especially when you do not know what the programmer is trying to do. Anyway, thanks people who have sent us the codings for reference!

*************************************************

Like I said, I wanted to give myself a break last weekend and I did! Muahaha had a relaxing time at my cousin's house. Watched "The Little Nyonya" or more known as "小娘惹"for 2 nights and I have finished watching it! Totally in love with the drama.

It about the story of a Nyonya's life and the plot revolves around Malacca and Singapore decades ago. Through this drama, audience is exposed to the culture of Baba and Nyonya. The main actress is totally unbelievable. A person like her who is so kind, rational and always so forgiving indeed exists but I am sure the numbers left in the world are not a lot. This is such a realistic world, sometimes we really need to shield ourselves in order to survive, isn't it?

Anyway 1 thing that I really agree with the storyline is karma.

Personally, I do believe in karma. I believe that what we do today will be reflected back to us in the future. People who do good deeds sincerely will be repaid for their kindness. But for those who are cruel and evil, one day they will receive their karma and get punished severely. Not only their evil doings will bring them harm, they are indirectly causing pain to their beloved ones as well. Because the pain that you suffer from seeing your beloved ones getting hurt is far more painful than you yourself suffering in pain.

And because of karma, I am here in this state today. It is a punishment for me for my mistakes done in the past. Muahaha... but in the movie, the main actress is really outstanding. She can think differently among those people in that decade and most importantly, she did not succumb to fate.

I, MUST NOT succumb to fate too. Hahaha... I believe sometimes some things are fated to happen. But there are also times that we can do something to change our fate. My thinking is, there is no definite path in one's life. What I do now will lead me to paths connecting to it. Maybe initially my life should be this way, but because of decisions that I have made, I changed my life.

I have encountered that and it will always remind me to think wisely before making any decisions. Our life path depends on the decisions we make everyday ^^

How do you want your path to be?

And just a little update about myself. I think I have grabbed hold of myself and found a way back. I am almost back to my old self despite some minor changes in me. Scars will never disappear and memories will always be there but they will always remind me who I was, what I did and how I have grown.

Sherril Leow, welcome back!~

Dark clouds are finally moving away!

-sherril=xuele-