My Worst CNY =(

It's now already 11 hours after the accident, but I'm still down and stressed up. The sound of my car hitting the divider kept playing in my mind..... the moment I knocked onto the divider is a moment that I couldn't forget. How I was so shocked, so stunned, so worried and trembled with cold.....the feelings were very complicated at that time. Everything happened in just a second.

After the incident, I kept asking myself, why did my car hit the divider? Was it because my front right tyre punctured and skidded off? Or was I sleepy at that time? Or maybe there were some other reasons? Seriously until now, I still couldn't get a real answer.... All I could recall was there was a short term dark moment right before I hit the divider. Because of this, I felt guiltier because as long as I can't recall, I would feel that the accident was caused by my sleepiness...... but my mom said it's normal that we couldn't recall that dark moment because she experienced this also.

Lately it's really a bad time for my family. Last year before CNY, I met with my first accident. An old lady knocked the back of my Waja, which was considered a bit bad. Last Oct, I got to know I have some spinal problem. On 19th Jan when I was still in KL, both my parents met with a terrible accident. The car - Iswara was badly damaged but luckily, they were safe. And now, I'm here again with this accident, this time it was Waja again.

All this while, I knew that Waja and I are like enemies... whenever I met with accident or problems with car, it will be Waja. It's never Iswara. EVERYTIME alsoWaja... actually everytime before accident, there were bad omen shown to me. Yesterday many problems and dilemma occurred. Now I really understand that every decision will lead to different conclusion. Eventhough it's just a small matter, it still counts............

Frankly, after my first accident, this time I reacted very quickly. If not I think I would have went to the other side of highway. Somehow I managed to drive my car to the side of the road and bring it to a stop, called him and my parents. And I actually didn't cry.........that's so abnormal. Too shock maybe.

Many people would not like their parents to scold them after accident. But I felt guilty because my parents didn't scold but instead consoled me and helped my to settle everything. I felt even guiltier when my mom doesn't want me to pay part of the repair expenses. I felt bad that I woke them up early in the morning for help and let them settle everything. I felt so terrible......so useless... and so helpless....

I wouldn't dare to drive for some time but nvm.... I'll be back to KL tomorrow and I won't have car there. Just hope that those who are driving must always be careful. I felt really grateful that I'm safe and I didn't knock onto anyone..... THANK GOD!

-sherril=xuele-