Sherril's favourite quote....

"......so that we can do great things in future"

By Dorae-ong

Monday, March 23, 2009

BFF

Before it is too late, Mei Fern, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Sorry that I made you cry on your birthday. But then, I am happy because at least there is no more barrier between us. I appreciate what you did and how we spent the night chatted at your house the other day. Thank you babe. We'll be BFF!!!

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Vian, I was not offended of what you told me today, seriously. I was just hurt. I mean, who would not be hurt when you were accused of being untrue to friends?

Actually, way before you started chatting with me in msn, I was already in unhappy state. Therefore when you started telling me things like that, maybe my reply sounded 'whatever'. Not because I do not care or offended, but because I felt that my life is so sucky. I wondered, why am I such a failure?

There are misunderstandings and misconceptions towards me I supposed. Yes, the birthday gal told me all. Sorry if the way I acted made you guys 'bei syok'. Guess I have some attitude problems after my break up. I am so not myself. Regarding my harshness, my do-not-care attitude, I apologize to the 3 of you.

We have been best friends for so many years. It was fate that brought us together. I do not wish that because of some small matters our friendship become wrecked. Our friendship is something that I really treasure and cherish. I am always so proud to tell people that the 4 of us are besties.

I know you all are disappointed about how I handle myself after my break up. But it is such a huge 'slap' for me and I just seem not be able to move on well. I am sorry to have bothered you all so much about it.

Babes, I love you all. I am really sorry for creating so much mess in our friendship. Let's not have anymore misunderstandings ok?


p/s: no hard feelings k...



-sherril=xuele-

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Suggestions!!

Yes!! My brother is coming back from Australia SOOON!!

Haha yeah real soon, in May =_=''

Seems like ages since he last came back to Malaysia, which was during CNY 2007. Should have come back during this year's CNY, but due to some reasons, he changed his plans.


CNY 2007


The very last picture taken with my bro.


Ok, ignore the sleep looks of us. It was a super early flight, so all of us had to wake up damn early to send him off. Plus, after sending him off, I was on my way to my cycling expedition to from Penang to Langkawi. That explains why I wore that girl guides shirt.


Picture with my cycling teammates on ferry. Girl guides rules!!! =)


He asked me what I will like him to buy for me from there. For a moment, I was blank.

I realised that in my current wish list, there is just 1 'thing'. It is 'something' that cannot be purchased with money. So I was wondering, what should I ask him to buy for me?

Thought of asking him not to buy anything back (which I think my parents will want him to do that), but then, eh he comes back like once in 2 years. LOL. He SHOULD get something for me, right? I mean, counting back those birthday gifts that he DID NOT give me, yeah I think he should at least buy me 1 thing from there. Haha.

But the question is, what to buy?

I asked my cousin who just finished studying over there what should my bro buy for me. She suggested ipod. Hmm... she said that it is cheaper even after conversion. Well, I am not so sure about this suggestion.

What about you all? Any ideas?

Please suggest something that is worth buying from there. Erm not too expensive la since recession is hitting everywhere. Some more pity him have to work day in day out when he is sick right now. *laughing*

I am thrilled at the thought that he will be able to come back and join our family trip! Wohoo~!!

The last time the 4 of us went for vacation together was in year 2004, when we went over to Brisbane to attend his convocation. It has been quite some time already huh? Too bad the last trip to China in 2007 he missed it. He should have joined us =(


See? My brother's missing. The picture is so INCOMPLETE.


I do not know why I miss him. Last time before he went over to Aussie we were NEVER close. We were forever arguing and quarreling, sometimes even fighting until my mom was fed up with us and I even got slapped by her. Gah. Bad old times.

However, ever since he went to Australia, somehow we became a bit closer. Haha, at least now I can feel that he is really treating me as his only lil sister. I could not believe I even share with him my problems when I did not tell my parents at all. If it was way back high school, such thing would not happen, not even to think about it.

I remember that last time I used to hope that he would go off to overseas as soon as possible, so that I can get rid of him from home. Muahaha I am bad huh? After he left only then I realised that I was so lonely at home. At times when I had cold war with mom, there was noone else for me to argue or talk with.

Maybe when you are far away from hometown, you will realise that family is important after all. That is why he began to treat me better. Haha and of course, we are no longer small kids.

Alright enough of the granny story, the main point of this post is to ask for opinions regarding what should my brother buy for me from Aussie. Suggestions please!!! Thank you! =)

p/s: Today is a beautiful day. I hope tomorrow will be a better day =)


-sherril=xuele-

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Elliot Yamin - Wait for You

Heard this song from my friend's bloggie and went to Youtube to search for it. Tadaa~! Found this video clip, showing scenes of Final Fantasy X with the song.

I have always loved Final Fantasy X. No reasons for it, just simply love it. Just feel that it is awesome =)

The song is "Wait for You" by Elliot Yamin,




I hope you all will love it too!


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When I do not smile does my face really look "dark"?

I just do not understand. I mean, you cannot expect me to smile 24/7 right? There are just times when I am quiet and down. There are just times when I do not smile just simply because there is nothing to smile at.

LOL. How can I assure you all that I am not showing dark face?

Sorry people if you think that I am bringing your mood down lately. I am just too into my own world. Things have been bothering me and I spent quite a lot of time thinking about them. If only there is an answer for it, then I do not have to think so much.

I miss home a lot lately. How good it is to be able to go home and spend time with my parents. There is just 1 problem. I do not know how to break the news to my mum. I do not want her to worry about me because I know she will. After all, in her eyes, I am still a little girl.

I am not a good daughter after all. I keep things to myself. I shared my joy with them when I 1st started. But now when things turned out like this, I do not know how to tell them.

Haha should not sound so emo anymore. It is already week 10. Time should have done its job to let things be forgotten. But why, it seems that it has not carried out its job well?


-sherril=xuele-

Monday, March 16, 2009

Monday

Yo, finally I am home.

I do not have Monday classes for this semester. However, we went back uni to sit for Digital Electronics test today which was set to start at 6pm until 7pm. LOL what a time for a test when we do not even have any classes =_=''

Anyway, regarding the test, I expected to see questions about solving expressions algebraically. But to my surprise, there was only 1 short question about it. 1 hour was like quite long and we were not allowed to leave early. So, we spent the time doing own 'discussion'. Haha not exactly discussion, just erm you know... checking =)

After that we went to Ah Chong's house for BBQ, celebrating Ah Gan's birthday. There were altogether 32 people! Wohoo~!! For the very 1st time, nearly ALL of us (coursemates) gathered together. I mean, those who were always absent from gathering were there! Haha everyone so 'beri muka'. And also for the very 1st time, we the 6 girls of MH (not including those from Diploma) got to gather together. Nice gathering =)

*Pictures will be uploaded some other time. I did not bring my camera along so I will need to wait for pictures from friends.*

This shall be a short post. Kinda tired and sleepy. I just hope that tonight I can get some real sleep. Been having SWEET dreams and nightmares nearly every single night ever since that tragic day. My brain and mind really need some rest.

Tomorrow will be another tiring day for me. Going sing k with Fashion Night committee members to celebrate the success of Fashion Night. I hope, by singing out loud, it can help to heal my soul bit by bit. Seriously, it needed to be mended.

Once again, Ah Gan happy birthday!

-sherril=xuele-

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Realization

Well, finally my circuit mid-term test and moral presentation are over! Now, 1 more mid term to go, which is Digital Electronics. Then we will need to spend full time completing our untouched assignments!


Digital Electronics


Presentation went well, I mean in terms of flow. I realized I did not smile though I made eye contact with the audience =_=''. Hope my lecturer did not think I sulked all the way because I did not. I was just too nervous as it is like ages ago since I did my last presentation. He kind of enjoyed our topic on prostitution, so in terms of contents, I think he loved it. I hope he really did haha.

Just realized in this semester, I hung out in malls less than 5 times. And I just realized that after I started this semester, I did not go for movies at all in KL. LOL. My life is like so boring huh? I wonder how I lived through since last time we usually went for midnight movies? Maybe I am not in mood for these. Haha just spent my money on food.

Yuen Steamboat


No wonder someone's complaining about me getting fatter. OK, it is not complaining in fact is teasing. Whatever. I will never be prettier, slimmer and taller than others. I will just try my best not to get any fatter. *sigh*

Sometimes I feel that I am being cared but sometimes I feel that I am being ignored. I think I am turning into a super sensitive person and I hate it. I must get rid of this sensitive thingy as soon as possible if not... life will be more miserable. Gah.

Alright now it is time for guessing session. Let you guess, what is the creature shown below?




Muahaha the answer SHOULD be frog.

Some people said it is a lizard. Some people like me said it is a hippo *faint*. I do not know where the hell I got the idea that it looks like a hippo. LOL.

Well it is actually a thing for you to rest your wrist while using mouse.


Can be used either way gua.


Hmm I do not know the exact term for this cute little thingy. Anyway it was a gift from Shen Chie for my 20th birthday. It was stated on the box that it can glow in the dark if you charge it under a light source for 5 minutes. I tried but failed. =_=''


Those little colourful things inside the fluid should be able to glow in the dark. (I think lah)


Seems like it is going to rain soon, again. Like I said, I hate rainy days nowadays. I can only feel the coldness, no warmth and comfort. Plus, it makes my day gloomy. Stupid weather.


Notice the silver star?


I wish I can outstand the rest just like the silver star.

But the fact is I cannot.

Once upon a time I was the silver star. But now, the image of me is blurred out, just like those stars behind. I am no longer categorized as "important".


p/s: Do birthday wishes come true?


-sherril=xuele-

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I am SORRY

Why am I so careless? Why must I make such mistake at this super critical time when people are rushing for report and presentation slides? LOL why can't I just create less trouble for people?

When can I stop creating mess for people to clean up for me?

When can I prove to people that I can do it and let them have faith in me?

When?

Sorry Kuak, I really did not mean to send a virus file to you. If only it was my lappie and not yours. I am super duper sorry. I know you are mad, I do not blame you. It was my stupid fault after all.


Sorry.


People, pray for me that tomorrow my presentation will be fine. Malay, why the hell must it be in Malay? *sigh*


-sherril=xuele-

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

RANTing

I should blog about fashion night, but since I still do not have the photos with me, I shall blog about it some other days after my Circuits and Systems midterm.

Anyway, it was a success! Thanks for your support people!

Aargghh, I am now struggling with Circuits and Systems. I am very poor in Time Domain. LOL I am practically copying the steps of tutorial from Shyuan, without understanding them. I wonder, how am I going to sit for the mid term test when I have another report to hand in?

Gah, stupid report, why must it be type written??!! It is so damn inconvenient to draw those circuits analysis with Word Processor! OK I know there is a software to draw circuits but I do not have it and will not even install it if I have because my lappie is already lagging!

You know, it was stated there that one of the experiment outcome is:

Learn to stimulate circuit analysis using software package such as MultiSim.

Bah! Ridiculous. I hate it!

Luckily there is only an hour of lecture tomorrow. If not, I guess I will die. To think that I need to do presentation on Thursday for Moral in MALAY makes me way more fed up. I totally suck in Malay and I still remember for Pengajian Malaysia presentation I did badly. WHY MUST IT BE IN MALAY???!! *sigh*

Yeah very very 'fan' now. Somebody please teach me!


-sherril=xuele-

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Happy Birthday Bloggie!

Today is such a significant day for me. March 7 - the date I started to blog in BLOGSPOT 2 years ago in 2007 after I dumped my old blog in live spaces.

So, HAPPY 2 YEARS OLD, my dear bloggie!







Ok, ignore the number of candles =)

Reading back what I've blogged about all this while, I realized my style of writing has changed a bit. Hmm.. but some people said no. Well, whatever.

I would like to thanks those who have been my loyal readers. No matter where you are from, I hope I can share my thoughts and happenings with all of you. I may not be a good writer/blogger, but I know blogging is my passion. And I will continue to blog, to mark down my footsteps in my entire life =)

Initially, I started blogging because it was a trend. But soon, I realized that blogging has been part of my life. It is a way I express myself to the world, having my memories locked in this little blog of mine.

Through blogging, I can see myself in a better way. I realized my mistakes, warning me not to repeat them again in the future. And of course, I am very glad that I made new friends through blogging. Blogger friends, nice to meet you all =)

You may find my blog boring (which I think so), but hmm.. well if you think it is then just ignore my blog. I am very fine with it. I blog according to my preference so I will blog in my own way own style.

Alright, last but not least, I would like to wish Kuak and his futsal team the very best in today's competition! Kuak... you are the best goalkeeper, do not doubt that fact ya! Gambate!

And of course, today will be our big day - Fashion Night 09'. People, let's make it to the best alright? I know we can do it!


-sherril-xuele-

Friday, March 06, 2009

我流泪了, 你会吗?

以下是我在电邮收到的一篇故事:

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“老公啊,我们什么时候能结婚啊?”女人一脸好奇的问,从声音分辨,她是很轻快的询问!他们在一起时间不久,两年而已,相处两年的情侣到处都是,随便就能抓出一大把,而现在的人,能有几个在交往的时候考虑结婚的?

“现在工作上也没什么突破,过两年吧!”男人轻轻柔柔道!

“哦!”没有失落亦没有兴奋,似乎预料中!

“老公啊,那假如有孩子了怎么办?”

“你有了?”男人严肃的握住女人的手,眼神犀利的盯住她!

“你抓痛我了啦!”女人喊了出来,“我是问问而已,有了我会告诉你的!”

“老婆,你记得,以我们现在并不适合要孩子,经济上也许可以不用顾忌但是心理上还无法接受,养育一个孩子不是养育一只小宠物那么简单;如果有了要告诉我,我会陪你去医院的,明白吗?”听了女人的话,男人放下心来,也柔下声音来对女人说着自己的观点!

“ 你放心好了啦,我不会那么不注意的,即便是有了也不会瞒你的,嘿嘿!”女人清爽的声音再度响起!但在心底,女人不知道是否该赞同男人的话,彼此工作其实都 不错也算稳定;已经多次思考过,男人只是交往初期提到过结婚,而当彼此交往变得稳定后就没有涉及过婚姻;女人虽然大大咧咧但不是真的傻!其实真不知道他们 之间的问题到底出在哪?是不爱吗?虽然感觉不到爱却也没感觉到哪不爱,也许是时间让彼此都沉静了!现在他们住的房子,一半是女人出钱按揭的;她习惯平衡! 平日逛街,他也从来没有陪过她,她从来不觉得有什么不舒服,毕竟习惯自娱是最容易快乐的方式,这时候却想到这个动作是否也能衡量他的感情。

“老公啊,今天你陪我逛街好不好?你还从来没陪我上过街呢!”女人撒娇的说。

“忙呢!乖,怎么今天想到要我陪了?”男人漫不经心的问!

“那你要不要嘛?”

“自己去吧,要买什么自己去提款就是!”男人的眼光始终专注在文件上!

“老公,我突然想嫁给你了,怎么办?”清纯美丽的小脸上闪亮的大眼无辜的望着男人;这句话把男人的注意力拉回到她身上。男人望着眼前这个没被现实的残忍划下太多痕迹的女子,隐隐的不耐与无力!

“那张纸对你来说是什么意义?”男人放下手上的工作打算和女人好好的谈一次!

“不知道!想和你结婚跟那张纸有牵连吗?”

“你想结婚不就是想要那张纸吗?”男人牵动了下眉。

“如果你那样想也可以啦,你有没有想过和我结婚?其实也是在问你的未来有没有把我算在内!”依然是轻快的声音。

“从一开始我就是打算和你一直走下去的,你不会不明白。”男人间接的回答。

“你从来没有直接的回答过我的问题耶,不管是怎样的问题都好!”女人把声音放到很嗲;“好了啦,不跟你讨论了,免得气死我自己!嘻嘻,那我自己去逛街啦,不要你陪,哼!”话音一落,她拿起包以轻快的姿态走出房间!

身 后的门一关上,原本笑意盈盈的脸瞬间沉下来,换上一脸苍白与哀愁,眸底有着让人捕捉不住的幽晦迷离!迈出脚步,缓缓的走在人潮拥挤的路上,脑子里一片空白 却也塞满了思绪,一直都以为自己是很快就能过渡伤害放大欢乐的开心着,这次用尽了力气,却做不到;泪水直流!有的时候不甘愿输给命运却不得不屈服于宿命! 快乐的妖精这会,不快乐!哭够了,收起眼泪扬起笑脸,冲到步行街给心爱的他选了十套西服十件衬衣十条领带十个胸针十双袜子十双鞋子,信用卡几乎被刷暴,但 是她笑得看不到眼!这时候的她,又是一个精灵,能感染人的精灵!

东西太多扛不了,只好打车回去!得意洋洋的向他炫耀自己的战绩,他看到那么多的衣服,嘴角边隐隐的抽搐,看着身旁这个做事向来一鸣惊人的她不知做何反应!

“老公啊,这些都我挑的,不错吧?”看着自己挑的西服她自我陶醉,对自己的眼光她向来自信!

“老公啊,这些衣服记得已经慢慢穿哦,今天看到好看的心血来潮就帮你买了!哼,你要敢说一个不喜欢的字眼,我就让你吃不了兜着走,听到没?”插着腰威胁,故意板起那张娇滴滴的脸!

“好!我不说不喜欢,但是你买这么干什么?你怎么总是那么浪费!”男人语带指责。

“哎呀啦,老公,反正都已经买了你骂我也没用啊!你就多疼我一点也喜欢上这些衣服吧,好不好嘛?”撒娇的摇着他的手,一脸的委屈状!他回她一个无奈的眼神,揉揉她的头发;

“好好好!你呀,以后记得别这样了听到没?否则就算你撒娇我一样不饶哦!”

“恩恩恩恩!”拼命的摇晃着脑袋!

“ 嘿嘿...嬉嬉...”女人一直在咧着嘴傻笑个不停,男人见状亦拉开嘴笑了出来,他的女人太可爱了,和个孩子一样无忧,也有成熟女人的知性;有“妻”如 她,还有什么不满足?他在心里也在琢磨着见家长的事,一直都不再提起结婚的事只是想给她一个惊喜,当初在一起的时候,他就下定决心娶她!

“老公啊,我这个月回家去陪我妈妈好不好?毕业到现在我都没有在家好好呆过呢,妈妈好想我了,我怕弟弟娶到的老婆欺负我妈,我要回去好好‘教育’弟弟去!”晚上的时候她楼着他,手在他身上挠着痒痒,他边逃开他的魔爪,边取笑:“你终于有良心记起妈妈啦?”

“嬉嬉,人家我可是乖乖女咧!老公,我买了明天中午的机票,这段时间你可要好好照顾自己哦!”

“原来你是有计谋的啊,我说你怎么忽然对我那么好!”男人假装凶神恶煞!

“哈哈,你装的都不像了啦!讨厌~。。。”

笑声溢满整个世界!

半个月过去,男人耐不住没有女人在身边的空寂,思念她的调皮,想念她的体温;拨通她电话,男人细声细语的磨女人赶快买票回来!电话里她清爽如银铃般的笑声回荡在整个脑海里令他眼圈犯红!

“老婆,你回来好不好?我们结婚吧!”

电话另一头刹那静如死寂!“你,不是不想娶我的吗?”沉默过后,女人轻轻的问!

“我不是不想,我是想在适当的时候给你一个惊喜,只是还是熬不过思念先说了!”男人解释着!

“嬉嬉,好啊,你等我回去好不好?”女人恢复精灵样!似乎得到了全世界一样!

继续半个月过去了,男人见女人迟迟不归,再次拨通电话;这回电话响了好久才被接起,却是女人的弟弟接的,男人询问他女人怎么还没回来,弟弟说她那里还需要处理点事,还没那么快能走开,告知很快就回,请他别挂心!

再半个月后,男人接到来自女人弟弟的电话,电话里,弟弟让他马上过他们家去,说女人有事!男人吓到了,定好机票如箭般飞奔机场!

到了x市,女人的弟弟接机,弟弟一眼就认出男人,一路沉默的把男人领到医院;不祥的预感笼罩着男人,病房门开,女人瘦弱苍白的脸震撼住男人,心猛的被狠狠的揪了一把,绞痛难耐!拖着软无力的腿,迈到紧闭双眼的女人身边,用手,轻轻的抚着那熟悉的脸颊,一下一下的抚摸着!

“姐姐胃癌晚期,拖了两个月了!”弟弟在一旁轻轻说着,女人的父母眼圈瞬间又泛红!

这个意外,真的太意外了,意外到连怎么回事都弄不清楚,意外到他感觉自己是在云端!胃癌,原来女人总是说没胃口总是不吃东西,说减肥是女人的终身事业,这一切都是借口,他责怪自己怎么就没用心去观察过;怪自己那么大意让女人独自撑着这最难熬的日子!

女人去天堂后的半个月!从女人住的那个城市寄来一封信,男人看着熟悉的字体,浑身颤抖:

亲爱的老公:

一定在想我了,是吗?一定是的,我在天堂都感觉到了呢!

老公啊,你说想和我结婚,真的好感动哦!原本以为你只是想和我在一起并没有和我共度一生的想法!老公,谢谢你的爱!

和你在一起啊,真的是世上最幸福的事呢!每天早上醒来你都会喊手麻,嬉嬉,知道吗?老公,这是最最感动最最记忆犹新的片刻,在家的这些日子我都睡不着,没有你的手臂当枕头没有你的怀抱当港湾;但是我不后悔,我不愿意你看到我被病魔折磨的不成人形的样子,我相信换你你也不会让我看到自己痛苦的一面!老公,原谅我,以后只能在天上笑给你听了!

老公啊,
一年前,我是多么希望时间能够定格,多么想永远永远都把你铭记于心底,但是发现怎么看你都看不够,我不知道要怎么做才能让心里舒服点,我知道你爱听我笑的声音,其实我自己也好喜欢自己的笑呢,所以就天天笑,让你永远都记得我,是不是好自私?我怕我走了之后你把我的一切都尘封进一个连碰都不会去触碰的角落里,我好怕,怕在那里我会冷,所以就用爱让你对我刻骨铭心!我把每天当成最后一天来过,所以,够了,今生有你,够了!

上次帮你买的衣服袜子鞋子,你每年在我离开的那天穿上一套去看我不好?十套,那就是十年,十年里,你只能用十天的时间想我,在特定的那天里,你才可以想起我也不准不想我,你知道我喜欢紫色玫瑰花,记得去找到哦,我对我老公可是很有信心的呢!记得,一年就是那一天能穿,别的时候不要去碰那些服装,如果你忘记了,那么在你老之后看到那些衣服,也许能想起我的这个要求呢!嬉嬉,以后你娶老婆了,记得在那天的时候带来给我看,但是不要告诉她我是谁,是女人都会介意的,就说...呃...就说我是你的青梅竹马好不好?我好羡慕那些青梅竹马长大的人哦!

以后你娶
老婆了,那她就是“咱老婆”,你要对咱老婆好哦,就像对我这样,因为我在天上看着呢;虽然我会哭会吃醋,但是我更不舍得女孩子伤心;你下辈子欠我一生,好不好?下辈子我会是一个好健康好健康的宝宝呢,到时候我会用力用力的缠你一辈子,直到老去!

老公,我不想告诉你我爱你这个事实了,怕你哭!我只看过你哭一次,那次我任性和你提分手;但是现在的你一定也是在哭,对吗?不只是眼睛哭,心也在流着泪!老公啊,不要让心停格在那凄楚哀怆的瞬间,笑着面对人生,帮我笑完今生,好吗?

从现在开始,不要悲哀不要消沉;想我只要用十年里的十天;十年后把我从生命里彻底清除,我自私,但是我怕我的自私让你恨我;所以我就赖你十年,就十年好不好?十年,我们就真的忘记彼此,期待来生!

已经在履行约定的傻孩子


泪滴湿了信纸,男人痛哭失声!天渐渐的暗了,黑了,窗外灯光斜射了进来,男人整理好情绪;“老婆,我记得你十年,想你用十天,来生还你一辈子!”轻轻的,对着天际呢喃

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哈哈没想到,我竟然流泪了。好感动!有些人就是能那么伟大。。如果我是她,不懂我会不会这样?现实中,真的会有这样的事情吗?

看了,我不禁开始觉得心酸。人生,就是那么残忍的吧?


-雪乐-

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Rainbow?





It is raining. Oh I hate rainy days lately. It somehow just makes me feel moody and lazy.

Sometimes, the more you want to know, the more the truth will be painful to you. Agree?

Actually we know this theory long time ago, however there are just these kind of moments when we desperately want to know what is actually happening behind all these confusions and chaos. And when someone finally reveal it or you are so "lucky" to have found out yourself, that is when our sufferings start. I personally hate this feeling.

Yea, my fault. I can just blame myself for being so curious. The saying 'curiosity kills the cat' is so true after all. Arrghh stupid me silly me!

Looking ahead, I realize that my future is so bleak, so unstable. I can no longer forsee myself in 2 years time. I cannot even see myself in half year time. That is a bad sign. *sigh*

Sometimes, when the thing that you once placed as the top priority in your heart is suddenly gone, it is just very hard for you to adjust yourself accordingly. I guess I am having a hard time adopting to my new life or maybe I am still lost in the forest. LOL

I noticed that I have lost enthusiasm towards many things. Why is this happening? Because I have entered my 20's? Because I just lost someone important? I do not know. I do not have the answer with me.

Life is filled with ups and downs. If you only live with either ups or downs, then your life is not interesting at all. Without downs, you will not truly understand the feelings of being really happy and appreciate the moments. Without ups, you will not know that after sadness, there will always be a rainbow waiting for you.

Guess I am no longer the little cute girl who just stepped into university. That is why I have lost my spell of charm and am being left alone at a side, waiting for the dark clouds around me to disappear.

Is there a rainbow waiting for me after this storm? I am sure there is, just that I cannot see it now.



Mine will definitely be much more beautiful than this.


-sherril=xuele-

Monday, March 02, 2009

No more EMO






Tarot cards
. Haha anyone believe in them?

Once, a friend predicted our future with tarot cards. Of course, it created chaos.

I was the one who always said, "Do not expect too much from them, the prediction can be changed depending on the path that we took."

I said that because there were bad predictions.

However, somehow one of the characters described in the prediction appeared after all. Before appearing, it was this character which created those unwanted chaos. In the end it appeared, but at the wrong timing. It appeared few months after the predicted time.

Though it really came alive, the reason predicted that would bring things to end was wrong. It was not the reason that made things ended.

Was the character a coincidence? Or was it connected to prediction?

I do not really believe in tarot cards, but part of me wants to believe now. Because.... hmm... maybe it came alive, partially.

Haha.

Ironic isn't it?

Life is always like this.

Anyway I just realized, a smile can really make things different. Thanks for that smile, I love it haha. I will continue with my super sweet and charming smile then. That represents me. My smile. My life =)

I said no more emo in my previous post remember? (ok, I deleted that post due to some personal matters) I will stick to what I said.

Oh yeah, forgot to inform you all about the results of the competition. OK let you all guess, what was our results?

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Don't be gong (stupid) lah. Of course we won 3rd. Haha why? Because there were only 3 teams so we won 3rd =_=''

LOL

If you believe that then you are really gong. With Shyuan's capability how can you underestimate our team? Ok, so proven she needed to cover me up most of the times, especially those soft and front balls. I was the one guarding behind.

Hmm, so my opponent realized I was weak. Aiya, how could she not realize? So there were a few times she INTENTIONALLY hit the balls STRAIGHT RIGHT to me. If I did not hit back or back off, for sure they would have hit me. Haha... too bad. Somehow my reflex reaction was quick enough and managed to hit all them back! Wohoo!! Never felt so nice =)

Alright, haha seems that I still did not announce the results huh? Haha ok, we won 1st. Yes FIRST!!!!

Haha you sure say I hypocrite, exaggerated about my lousiness in the previous post. Hmm but really I am a weak player! If not because of her, we would have lost.

But to think back how we played, I feel that it was funny. We were like laughing when playing. Not because it was easy, but because we made many silly mistakes. Somemore we were confused about who was going to serve. All we did was to look at the referee and asked, "Me ar? Or she?"

This happened until at 1 point the referee was confused too haha. So we just simply chose 1 and served. LOL. So confirmed there were mistakes in the match. Cincai la.

No more next time. I felt that I was like a monkey or a clown in the match haha. Enough of the "sia sui" image.

Thanks for forgiving. I really appreciate it. (don't misunderstand, things are still the same)

I hope that time proves everything and may you and everyone be happy!!

And Kelvin, thanks for offering me those chocolates that you left at our house! Haha for sure I will not leave any for you since you say eating chocolate can make people happy ^^

Fashion Night is on Saturday. People, do come and support us ya!!! (details at the announcement column above)

Nitez nitez. I hope I will get a good night's sleep tonight.


-sherril=xuele-

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Love at first sight

Do you believe in love at first sight?

It was the 1st day in university. A brand new life as a university student, having to make new friends and adopt to the new environment. At that moment, the future was still so bleak, everything was still so new, so strange.

Of course, classes in the very 1st week, especially 1st day were boring. But something caught his attention during computer lab practical session. Nope, to be precise it was someone.

Seated in front of him was a girl, who was talking away with her newly-made friends. Maybe her cute petite figure captured his attention. Maybe her friendly characteristic made her noticeable. Or maybe it was her charming and cheerful smile that melted his heart. Something about her just made his heart skip a beat. He knew instantly that she was the girl, whom he was waiting for all this while. It was love at first sight.

Being the quieter type, he was always sitting at the back row during lectures and tutorials with other friends. As for the girl, she was always sitting at the front row, trying to pay 100% of attention in classes. Therefore all he could do everyday was to look at her back, once in a while stole a glance at her when she turned over. He was all about her.

She, of course was not aware of this. It was her new life too, as a university student and away from home. Though she was an observant person, she actually did not notice that there was a pair of twins in her class. Not until 1 day when her friend told her,"Hey, do you know that we have twins in our class?" She was dumbfound.

"What? Where? Who? How could I have missed out?" she asked.

Her friend showed her the names of the twins on the name list, and then pointed the twins to her. "There, the 2 sitting behind there are the twins."

"Har? Why they don't look quite alike?"she asked again. He was one of the twins. That was her 1st impression about him and learnt about his name. She could remember him easily because she found that he looked kinda alike to a tennis player back in her hometown. They remained as just stranger classmates until 1 day....

Through friends somehow he got her msn. And since the day he added her, they were chatting off almost everyday till past midnight. As the girl had a habit of sleeping late, she was glad that she had a companion to accompany her to chat online. Being a girl who loved to make friends through the net, she knew she had met another clickable cyber friend. Everyday they had endless topics to chat about, and soon they became close net friends.

Though they could chat endlessly in msn, they had never chatted face to face before in class. She thought of greeting him in lectures since they already knew each other, but his facial expression kept her from doing so. Maybe he would like to remain as cyber friends. Hmm... just let it be, she thought to herself. Actually, he was shy and that was why he never had the courage to talk to her, yet.

She would always remember the day they had their first face to face conversation. It was time to collect class fund and she was the so-called treasurer of the class (helping the class-rep with the money collected). He went up to her to pay his share.

"Erm, what about your brother?"she asked him, staring into his eyes while flashing him her usual sweet smile.

"Oh, I will help him pay too,"he replied, looking at her with a smile.

For that instant when her eyes met his, she thought she saw some love sparkle in it. His eyes were like telling her that he likes her.

"Oh, how could that be? I must have mistaken,"she scolded herself. She had always trusted her sixth sense but that time she felt that it was so impossible that she dismissed that idea almost immediately.

That was their 1st conversation, so short yet so memorable.

As days passed by, 1 day she received an sms from a stranger, wanting to be friends with her. Must be 1 of my classmates again, fooling around, she thought. So she asked who he/she was. The next reply immediately made the person recognisable. Although that person did not want to state who he/she was and wanted to remain mysterious, she knew it was him.

How could she be wrong? She was an observant person and everyone has their unique way of texting either in msn or sms. His way of texting has already given his identity away =) And that was when they started texting each other, almost everyday besides msn-ing.

She thought he was a nice friend to chat and share her joy and sadness, so she did not mind texting him everyday. He was there to console her when her friend passed away. He told her about football, she told him about tennis. Both of them love music and most importantly, they love blue.

Both of them would never forget their 1st conversation through phone. All the while they were just texting each other without any phone calls. That was why when he called she was surprised.

"Hello?"she answered.
"Hey, our football team has won! I myself have shot in *7 goals!" He was so happy that he wanted to share his joy of victory with her at the 1st moment.

"Wow. Congrats!!! You are so great!!!!!" She was happy for him because she knew that football was his passion.

The call surprised her because he could have texted her instead of calling her. Her best friend told her that maybe he likes her, but almost quickly she dismissed that idea again.

"Noway. You must have thought too much." She told her best friend.

As time passed by and they grew closer, sometimes some sensitive words made her think that he was just fooling around. You know, like best friends. Being open-minded, she fooled back. But that was when she knew that she had gone beyond the best friend line.

She did not know what captivated her heart about him. She did not know when exactly did she fall for him. She did not know that the fall would have made her fall so deeply....

She wanted to keep herself a distance from him. She wanted to refrain herself from falling for him because she did not have a good past of relationship. But her efforts and his sincerity made her fall even more deeply...

1 night, for the very 1st time, he went to her hostel to find her, together with other classmates. They were actually meeting another friend but they called her down as well. He bought "super spicy" or "ma la" Taiwanese sausage for her from night market as requested. They wanted to challenge her level of spiciness. Well to admit, it was quite spicy but she got through it. Why not? With him there everything became so possible =)

Their classmates talked with friends and left both of them. It was awkward at first. They had never chatted individually before. But somehow something just popped up their minds and they carried their conversation casually, enjoying every bit of it. A friend teased him that she was his gf, but of course he denied because they were not, at that time.

Soon, he began to find her regularly, spending time in the TV room. They talked, read newspapers and watched tv together. 1 night while he was reading her palm lines for fun, chemistry just pulled them together. Soon they were holding hands and she was resting on his shoulders. Everything happened so naturally.

She knew she had to pull herself out. That night after he went back, she texted him stating that she was not ready for a new relationship yet. She was worried that this could just be the wrong feelings like she had in the past relationship. He assured her that everything would be fine, so why not just give both of them a chance? She considered for some time but gave in eventually because she was deeply attracted to him.

And that was how the 2 of them began their most memorable romantic love life.

She was his 1st and he was her 3rd. But to her, this was the best 1 she ever had. For the very 1st time, she was in a serious and steady relationship, enjoying every bit of life with him.

She knew she had found the right person in her life.

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Everything was so simple at that time. No worries, no problems..... By stepping out 1 step and giving each other a chance, they shared the happiest moment in their life. A chance, could actually do such a miracle.

Sadly everything lasted for 2 years and 4 months only. Then she did the most irrational thing in her life. She said the words that should not be said, resulting to an end of their relationship. It was an argument after all, but why did she let her emotions took over her?

He was deeply hurt. The girl he loves so much wanted to end the relationship. He wanted her back but she said she wanted to stop and rest.

He wanted her to be happy. If she thought that being with him was a confinement, then all he could do was to leave her and let her find her freedom. He must give up on her in order to let her give up on him to continue on with her life.

Has he really given up on her?

She would like to tell him that, that night what she said was so untrue. She did not mean to really leave him behind. How could she? He was the guy she wanted. He was her everything. How would she want to leave him? It was a really big mistake of her to do so....

But, he would not want to listen to any of this crap anymore. Yeah, how could you expect someone to forgive you when you have hurt him deeply?

She wished and still wishes that, if only he can give each other another chance.

Sometimes, love is sweeter the 2nd time around so why not try to give each other a chance?

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This shall be the FINAL post about this entire emo stuff. I promise I will not talk about it anymore. *He* has enough of it and I have had enough of it. Guess all this while I was the one thinking too much. I am sorry for bringing you so much trouble.

If one day you happen to wake up, do let me know because I am awake all this while. I am most sure what am I doing.

Since what I wrote offended you, I sincerely apologize to you. I am sorry. May we have the sweet memories of ours kept in our minds forever.

I love you.

-sherril=xuele-